Reddit is coming together to warn one mom about the toxic behavior she’s experiencing at the hands of her mother-in-law and husband. The mom, who gave birth to her son five weeks ago, took to to the forum to share that her MIL has been camping out in the living room ever since: inviting people over, being messy with the space, and not helping out with the newborn. The only contribution she makes is cooking dinner.
“I said nothing because if I open my mouth, my husband would start scolding me saying his mom is there to help and I should be grateful,” the Reddit user wrote. “What I did was ignore her and focus on my son.”
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One evening, the new mom was in her room breastfeeding. Her MIL and husband were eating dinner, and she figured they’d set aside a plate for her. “Once I got done with my son, I walked out the room and saw my husband and his mom sitting watching tv,” she wrote. “I asked about dinner and my husband said it was ‘probably’ on the stove. As I was walking towards the kitchen, his mom loudly said that she didn’t save me any food.”
When the Reddit user asked why, her MIL responded it was because she figured she wasn’t hungry. “I lost it and yelled that I was feeding my son OF COURSE I was hungry, I was actually starving! She shrugged her shoulders and said it wasn’t her fault I didn’t ‘show up for dinner’ but she knew damn well that I was with my son and hadn’t eaten a thing in hours!”
Her husband responded by asking her not to raise her voice at his mom. Then, the two proceeded to gang up on the Reddit user, which caused her to walk into her room, pack a small bag for herself and her son and leave for her mom’s house. At the doorway, her husband berated her, saying that she was being “childish” and should be grateful that her MIL is there.
“He said I should be ashamed of myself for talking about her like that after she literally put her life ‘on pause’ so she could help ME out.” Later, in a text, he called her “nuts” and told her to come back home. She refused. “He’s lost it and got his family involved accusing me of keeping his son away from him and punishing him over ‘food.’”
Reddit rallied around this new mom and offered some firm advice on what to do next. “I seriously think it’s time to consider a divorce,” one person wrote. “You can’t say anything about his mom staying there – huge red flag. It’s your house as much as it’s his.” Another added: “NTA, but think carefully if you want to stay w/ someone who will always put his Mom before you AND his child.”
Many, many people pointed out the multitude of red flags that were waving here, both on behalf of the husband and the MIL. “His mother is beyond reprehensible. She’s a mother. She knows exactly what you’re going through right now and is still being cruel. Starving you starves her grandchild but she’s too busy being a bully to you to think about that.”
A lot of people also reinforced just how important this mom’s food intake is — and how inconsiderate it was of the duo to ignore her needs. “NTA, for all the reasons like your husband is married to his mother, MIL is not helping you etc, but also, you need to be fed properly in order to be able to produce enough breast milk and nutrition for your son,” someone noted. “By not making sure you are fed, they are also impacting how well your son is fed, and that makes this a lot worse.”
What do you think this Reddit user should do?
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